Last week’s Double Crusted Blueberry Pie was DIFFICULT. I was so happy to hear that this week’s would be chocolate pudding, a recipe I’ve made dozens of times.
1) Open packet of pudding mix.
2) Add milk and/or water.
3) Shake shake shake shake shake.
Okay, so it’s bound to be more difficult than that, but not much, right?
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
I didn’t have to buy any new equipment for this recipe, which is nice after last week’s $50 investment. I picked up some whole milk (I am trying to follow these recipes to the letter at the moment). Otherwise, the rest are pretty standard pantry items. I typoed earlier and wrote “panty items,” but I swear it wasn’t Freudian.
I substituted semisweet chocolate chips for the bittersweet chocolate chips, which didn’t seem like it’d be too big of a problem. It’s better than another emergency run to the grocery store. Gas ain’t cheap.
What follows is a testament in my ability to ignore instructions totally; make the biggest messes; and have the worst luck in the world.
MISTAKE #1: Dorie Sez: “Add the dry ingredients.” I add the pre-mixed dry ingredients (cornstarch, cocoa powder, salt, sugar), and then for some reason I also add the chocolate chips and the butter (which come far later in the process).
MISTAKE #2: When adding boiling milk to the food processor through the top hole, be sure to remove the “pusher” from the hole–otherwise the milk will go all over your food processor, counter, floor, pants, etc.
MISTAKE #3: Not so much a mistake as a capper to the whole thing. I tried to salvage my batch of pudding, and in the step where you pour it BACK into the saucepan, I missed the pan with half of the pudding.
It wasn’t all my fault though. I was blessed with the leakiest food processor ever. The end result?
This:
And this:
And this:
That’s right. That was my end result. It looked and tasted like chocolate porridge–not entirely unpleasing, but not entirely pudding either. I was devastated. I didn’t want to do Tuesdays with Dorie anymore. I didn’t want to bake. I didn’t want to blog. I just wanted to go to sleep.
While I could easily have gone with the “ugly food for an ugly dude” excuse, I had to prevail. After some cleanup, it was round two. After chastising myself and rereading the recipe multiple times, I was good to go. I followed it to the letter.
Success! It felt so good to actually do something right. Sure, my food processor is still leaky. And sure, my floor has reached levels of stickiness as of yet unknown to mankind. But I HAVE SIX CUPS OF PUDDING. Tastes pretty good, too. Far better than that instant pudding, no matter how fun it is to shake it all up.
The rest will go towards the dinner I’m cooking for my girlfriend Rachel tomorrow. The menu: baked chicken breasts, corn on the cob, salad, chocolate pudding. I’ve never cooked anybody a real dinner before, so wish me luck. If all else fails, I’ll have a lot of extra pudding.
Things I’ve Learned
1. Read carefully.
2. If at first you don’t succeed, etc!
For 1/6 of the recipe:
| Nutrition Facts | ||||||
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Serving Size 138.3g
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Amount Per Serving
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Calories
252
Calories from Fat
144
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% Daily Value*
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Total Fat
16.0g
25%
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Saturated Fat
9.2g
46%
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Cholesterol
120mg
40%
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Sodium
174mg
7%
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Total Carbohydrates
23.0g
8%
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Dietary Fiber
2.3g
9%
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Sugars
18.5g
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Protein
6.8g
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* Based on a 2000 calorie diet
Nutritional details are an estimate and should only be used as a guide for approximation |
Ugly Food for an Ugly Dude 