Vegan cupcakes, kind of ok

Posted in Uncategorized on January 30, 2014 by uglydudefood

My spouse is still vegan, and January/February is birthday month. To avoid the discomfort of her staring at us while we eat real cake – or the inconvenience to our hosts of requesting something weird – I baked her freezer cupcakes. Nothing fancy – just vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting. All vegan, all from this link (except I substituted some cocoa into the icing, and added about 1/4 tsp of salt to it as well).

The cake tasted pretty much like any other cake – if pressed, I’d say it’s probably not as fluffy (probably due to the lack of eggs) but no distinguishable flavor difference. The icing is basically my standard buttercream recipe but with all shortening instead of half-butter, and that suffers a bit more (but hey, some cows’ boobies didn’t suffer, so I guess something had to). It leaves a film in the mouth and seems a bit…ehhhh.

I was wondering as I tasted the cake, how did we decide on the recipe for cake? The vegan substitute tastes pretty on-point. Over time, who decided that we should use the rocks that come out of chickens’ buttholes to enrich our baked goods, and a little of this chemical powder, and a little of this other chemical powder, and we’ll grind up these plants and put that powder in. It seems like a long journey just to result in diabetes for everyone. Delicious and disappointing.

No pictures, as I didn’t take my time decorating them. These are utility cupcakes, not display cupcakes. You know what brown stuff on top of white stuff looks like.

Vegan cookies are kind of a success?

Posted in Uncategorized on January 21, 2014 by uglydudefood

After a four-year break, I have reverted to meatlessness and have stayed true for the last few months. My spouse, in a wonderful display of oneupsmanship, has been full vegan for the last two weeks. We were watching someone on TV talk about brownies and she developed a craving for vegan brownies – problem is, we are in the middle of a snowstorm, so I had to work with items on-hand.

After giving up on brownies for various reasons, I turned to chocolate cookies. I chose this recipe, which I thought would be doable with my current pantry. Turns out however that I did not have cocoa powder, so I subbed an appropriate amount of flour and added extra vanilla.

The batter was way too gloppy, but I tried anyway. First batch came out p. gross.

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I added more flour for batch 2, and these cookies looked okay. Bigger and stay-puftier.

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I prefer butter and eggs myself

Bake In The Saddle Again

Posted in Uncategorized on December 3, 2013 by uglydudefood

It’s been a while since I’ve baked; not as long as it’s been since I’ve blogged, but a few months. I always get a bit lazy, and then I start eating store-bought treats. I forget how much better real treats are, how much fun it is to make good things out of a bunch of dumb-looking powders, and how much more rewarding it is when your figurative sweat and literal blood (from the sharp lid of the pumpkin can) are in the recipe.

We are now proud homeowners, which, for the purposes of this site, means that there will be no more pictures atop washers, dryers, or stove tops. We have a kitchen with COUNTER SPACE.

On the left: caramel pumpkin pie. It’s the same recipe that I’ve made and probably blogged about several times before. The recipe is really variable, depending on how dark you caramelize the sugar in step one of the recipe. I’ve never been quite as pleased with this recipe as I was the first time I made it; as such, I think I’m retiring this one and finding a new pumpkin pie recipe for 2014.

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On the right, a gluten free pumpkin pie that my wife found on Buzzfeed, because Buzzfeed is a thing she likes. My sister-in-law is allergic to gluten and she is awesome so we like to make sure she gets dessert when we can help it. The crust is a paste of dates, pecans, walnuts, and gluten-free oats. The filling is a lightly sweetened pumpkin pudding (the sweetness is all in the dates in the crust)

Tis the season for more baking. I’ll try to post when I’m not too bored or depressed!

Posted in Uncategorized on March 22, 2013 by uglydudefood

Hi, as you may have guessed I’m not blogging here anymore?  I caught a lethal buttcrack infection and am probably dying, so TTYL everyone. 

Just kidding, that is false.

I still bake, but weighing the amount of time it takes to do this vs. the amount of fun I have doing it vs. the size of the audience reading it, it was a no-brainer to stop.  I may pop up again, especially as I go on to do more levels of cake decorating classes, etc – but this is pretty much it.   I exist on the Internet in many, many more places if you know where to look.

Another cake – get used to cakes

Posted in Uncategorized on December 2, 2012 by uglydudefood

It’s a cake from over a month ago. This cake was my “final project” for my Wilton level 1 cake decorating class. I had other projects, but I forgot to take pictures. We learned how to do these roses in the last class, so really my final project was just tossing all my practice roses on a cake. The cake was a single 9″ cake (this recipe, without the lemon zest/lemon extract, and with vanilla extract), leveled, and then torted into two layers. The icing is the not-v.-good all-shortening buttercream from a recipe in the training manual. My icing consistency may have been a little too dry, because the roses and shells weren’t very smooth.

We planned on taking this into work, but then a hurricane came through (maybe you remember it? I don’t know, maybe you don’t) and work was canceled for a while. Anyway, my wife and I ate this whole damn cake. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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Slacking and cake

Posted in Uncategorized on November 22, 2012 by uglydudefood

I know I’ve been slacking. I’m a total tool. Since July of 2008 I didn’t miss any weeks – not even while I was on my honeymoon. And then I fell out of the habit, and now I’m about three weeks out from my last post. Listen – I’m still baking. I’m taking cake decorating classes. I’m spending some time being a human person. I don’t know why I’m explaining. I’m only accountable to me, and I’m plenty disappointed in myself for abandoning something I enjoy so much for so long.

Here is the first cake I made for coworkers after I started taking the level-one Wilton cake decorating class. It was only after the first session – so I didn’t know much, just a few piping techniques. Most of the stuff I learned was pretty worthless in this case, because decorating with peanut butter icing is a painintheballs. It doesn’t stiffen like buttercream. So it’s uneven and can’t be smoothed. If I remember correctly, the cake was Dorie Greenspan’s devil’s food cake. The frosting was this all-butter peanut butter frosting. I resolved for my next peanut butter frosting to have some shortening in it, in hopes that it would be easier to decorate with. You’ll see the results in a couple weeks.

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TALL AND CREAMY CHEESECAKE – CHOCOLATE EDITION

Posted in Uncategorized on October 28, 2012 by uglydudefood

This is a cheesecake I made for a coworker’s farewell party. It’s Dorie’s tall and creamy cheesecake, except I added some melted bittersweet chocolate to the batter. Another coworker bought some strawberries to go on it, and it was a perfect compliment.

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I want to eat it now. But I baked it at least two weeks ago. HALP ME!