Tuesdays with Dorie – Chocolate Pudding Disaster

Last week’s Double Crusted Blueberry Pie was DIFFICULT.  I was so happy to hear that this week’s would be chocolate pudding, a recipe I’ve made dozens of times.

1)  Open packet of pudding mix.

2)  Add milk and/or water.

3)  Shake shake shake shake shake.

Okay, so it’s bound to be more difficult than that, but not much, right?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I didn’t have to buy any new equipment for this recipe, which is nice after last week’s $50 investment.  I picked up some whole milk (I am trying to follow these recipes to the letter at the moment).  Otherwise, the rest are pretty standard pantry items.  I typoed earlier and wrote “panty items,” but I swear it wasn’t Freudian.

I substituted semisweet chocolate chips for the bittersweet chocolate chips, which didn’t seem like it’d be too big of a problem.  It’s better than another emergency run to the grocery store.  Gas ain’t cheap.

What follows is a testament in my ability to ignore instructions totally; make the biggest messes; and have the worst luck in the world.

MISTAKE #1: Dorie Sez:  “Add the dry ingredients.”  I add the pre-mixed dry ingredients (cornstarch, cocoa powder, salt, sugar), and then for some reason I also add the chocolate chips and the butter (which come far later in the process).

MISTAKE #2: When adding boiling milk to the food processor through the top hole, be sure to remove the “pusher” from the hole–otherwise the milk will go all over your food processor, counter, floor, pants, etc.

MISTAKE #3: Not so much a mistake as a capper to the whole thing.  I tried to salvage my batch of pudding, and in the step where you pour it BACK into the saucepan, I missed the pan with half of the pudding.

It wasn’t all my fault though.  I was blessed with the leakiest food processor ever.  The end result?

This:

And this:

And this:

That’s right.  That was my end result.  It looked and tasted like chocolate porridge–not entirely unpleasing, but not entirely pudding either.  I was devastated.  I didn’t want to do Tuesdays with Dorie anymore.  I didn’t want to bake.  I didn’t want to blog.  I just wanted to go to sleep.

While I could easily have gone with the “ugly food for an ugly dude” excuse, I had to prevail.  After some cleanup, it was round two.   After chastising myself and rereading the recipe multiple times, I was good to go.  I followed it to the letter.

Success!  It felt so good to actually do something right.  Sure, my food processor is still leaky.  And sure, my floor has reached levels of stickiness as of yet unknown to mankind.  But I HAVE SIX CUPS OF PUDDING.  Tastes pretty good, too.  Far better than that instant pudding, no matter how fun it is to shake it all up.

The rest will go towards the dinner I’m cooking for my girlfriend Rachel tomorrow.  The menu:  baked chicken breasts, corn on the cob, salad, chocolate pudding.  I’ve never cooked anybody a real dinner before, so wish me luck.  If all else fails, I’ll have a lot of extra pudding.

Things I’ve Learned

1.  Read carefully.
2.  If at first you don’t succeed, etc!

For 1/6 of the recipe:

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 138.3g
Amount Per Serving
Calories

252
Calories from Fat

144
% Daily Value*
Total Fat

16.0g
25%
Saturated Fat

9.2g
46%
Cholesterol

120mg
40%
Sodium

174mg
7%
Total Carbohydrates

23.0g
8%
Dietary Fiber

2.3g
9%
Sugars

18.5g
Protein

6.8g
Vitamin A 7% Vitamin C 0%
Calcium 12% Iron 3%
* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Nutritional details are an estimate and should only be used as a guide for approximation

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46 Responses to “Tuesdays with Dorie – Chocolate Pudding Disaster”

  1. I’m sorry your first attempt didn’t turn out but your second attempt looks fabulous! I have a leaky food processor, too. The pudding is GREAT, isn’t it!

  2. Oh my daisy.
    It is okay to think it’s totally funny when someone fails so dramatically, right?
    At least you had the energy to make it again to wonderful successes. Great work.

    Ha…panty items. Chuckle.

  3. Best of luck with your dinner. The mess looks just awful–I would have given up. Good for you for forging ahead! And welcome to TWD!

  4. Sorry about your mess and your lumpy pudding. Hopefully the next TWD will be better for ya!

  5. I’m so sorry about your mess, but glad you tried again! Your girlfriend should be very impressed!

  6. At least you didn’t give up! I would have wanted to quit everything! The second batch looks gorgeous! Good luck on your dinner it sounds wonderful!

  7. Good for you for going with Round 2! I’m about to go Round 3 on a batch of muffins that were sapping my will to live yesterday. [Insert bicep flex here.]

  8. Oh, that’s messy. I would not have been happy. Good thing it was good on the second round.

  9. OK, I laughed myself sick (sorry:) reading your pudding adventure. I have definitely had some similar ones…(my first attempt at blending hot soup in a blender; it goes EVERYWHERE!) Awesome that you forged ahead. Your second round looks delish; good luck with your dinner! I saw that you like movie scores. Any favorite composers? I really like Philip Glass.

  10. I am very impressed that you made the pudding again! It looks great.

  11. Welcome. We need more messes around here. Keep sharing your kitchen adventures. Hopefully next week’s recipe will come off without a hitch, but if not, we’ll all be here to enjoy your misadventures.

  12. Dude – I love you! What a fabulous post – I laughed with you and I empathized with you totally every step of the way. Welcome to TWD… I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

    Rachel is a lucky girl – I am sure your dinner for her will be a success!!

    Have a delicious day 🙂

  13. Love your post. Thank you, you shared your mess with us and then your success. Good job and keep moving forward!!

  14. I’m sorry your first batch didn’t turn out–your poor floor! Your poor food processor!

  15. Well…you gave it another shot and it turned out good. That’s a plus. Your post made me laugh out loud, by the way! Nice job.

  16. good luck with cooking dinner, bud.. – sounds tasty, too!

  17. Yay, a fellow screw up! Would you feel any better if I told you the first pudding managed to look better than my exploding cupcakes *and* my first TWD?

  18. This post made me laugh. So glad you pulled yourself out of “devastation” mode to try again. 🙂

  19. Dude, You are totally freaking me out with the nutritional info. I suppose it’s good for me to know. Nah, forget it, I don’t want to know. Can you hide that in a link or something??

  20. If she doesn’t fall at your feet in gratitude for such lovely chocolate pudding, she’s not worth it.

  21. Dude, I commend you for making this pudding twice! I’m sure your girlfriend is going to love it!

  22. I don’t have the pictures to prove it, but I totally had a huge mess with my overflowing food processor as well! And I TOO tried to salvage what was remaining (and not on the floor) by pouring it back in to the saucepan. Not that I wish anyone the same situation I was in, but it’s comforting to know I wasn’t the only one!

  23. Holy magoodles, you guys! Thanks for the outpouring of support! I’m glad my filthy misadventures in the kitchen can bring smiles to your faces 🙂

  24. oh schnikey! was that leaky processor part of last week’s investment? i’m sure your g/f appreciated the end result–looks pretty good! and the nutritional info–i didn’t really want to know, but i couldn’t look away!

  25. thats really funny. I mean stinks. but funny too.

  26. HAHA. best.writeup.ever! Even though your processor was leaky, your floor is sticky… its all worth it for the last smooth pudding picture right? RIGHT!? Don’t make me take my book back. LOL.
    PS. where do you get your nutritional value from? Email me please! (I don’t want to know but I should know. Damn you!)
    /Clara

  27. Ohhhh, so worth it! Check your e-mail, but to everybody else:

    http://caloriecount.about.com/cc/recipe_analysis.php

    It’s a lifesaver. I used to do it by hand, but my sanity quickly disappeared.

  28. Sorry to hear about your disaster, I’ve had plenty of days in the kitchen like that! And most of mine have been because I didn’t read the recipe properly. At least it turned out good in the end. Good luck with your dinner 🙂

  29. Thank you for noticing the Family Guy reference. It cracks me up every time. Maybe you just need to be as twisted as we are to get it…..

  30. Hi. First of all, hilarious post. I totally hear you wiht the mess – my advice is to get a dog. The floors get cleaned ridiculously quickly. Second, please don’t hate me for doing this – I wish it weren’t so, either. But I’m tagging you to take part in this “meme” whatever that is. You have to do some stuff. You can find out about it at http://www.jonandmacduff.blogspot.com and it’s pretty painless.

  31. Welcome to TWD! Too funny, loved all the mess…that is how I feel sometimes…I messed up a little also…still haven’t seen what my pudding looks like…good luck!

  32. (heehee) sorry I am laughing at your failed attempt, but, well, it’s just funny!! You are a very witty little writer, and I love that you tried again after making such a mess the first time. I hope your dinner party goes great!! (they will LOVE your chocolate pudding for sure!

  33. haaaa too bad the first attempt didn’t work but the second worked like a charm! i didn’t even bother with the FP…i did it all by hand and it came out amazing. next time try it. 🙂 that first picture looks scrumptious!

  34. If you are going to go down, go down swinging I always say. Good luck with your dinner party. I’m glad you prevailed and showed the ingredients and inanimate objects who is boss. Way to go dude!

  35. Thanks for sharing both the good and the not-so-good in your adventures in pudding. Your new food processor sure is getting a workout isn’t it?

  36. […] this entry is. I wrote it quick (and I was so overwhelmed by the response to my pudding post that I spent a lot of time reading other people’s entries and trying to comment. I’m […]

  37. sorry about the unfortunate mess, but it looks good in the end 🙂 i’ve had too many experiences like that, now i always wrap a towel around my food processor when I use it….

  38. Can I add one thing to the list of things learned this week? Don’t use your food processor to make pudding! 😉

  39. First of all, your post. was. HYSTERICAL. Secondly, thank you SO much for posting the nutritional information! I am a ridiculous calorie counter, yet was too lazy to calculate everything this time! I should have done it while I was cleaning up all of the mess as well!

  40. […] comment turn-out was huge for my last TWD entry.  Maybe if I make stuff explode every time, people will continue to love me.  I just got back from a five-day vacation, so I have […]

  41. […] Our Secret Ingredients : Chocolate Pudding Posted on July 23, 2008 by lemontartlet Ugly Food for an Ugly Dude […]

  42. At least you write really well! Thanks for the side-splitting post, I’m new here and going to put you on my weekly reading list.

  43. wow, way to persist and end up with wonderful results! hope the dinner w/your girlfriend went well 🙂

  44. […] don’t mean to be a hooligan, but I have to say it:  screw Dorie’s chocolate pudding, screw Dorie’s creme brulee, and screw Dorie’s rice pudding.  This is bar-none the […]

  45. […] and I like it a lot better than my old one.  Here’s hoping we don’t have any chocolate pudding debacles with this […]

  46. […] YOU’RE LOOKING AT IT, BOZO July 8, 2008 – Double Crusted Blueberry Pie July 15, 2008– Chocolate Pudding July 22, 2008– Cherry Rhubarb Cobbler July 29, 2008 – Summer Fruit Galette August 5, 2008 – […]

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