Ladies and gentleladies, I present to you the Pros and Cons of eating an entire cup of Jalapeño Peppers.
PROS
- You will look cool to that one guy who said, “It would be really cool to eat a cup of jalapeño peppers.”* (*This may not actually occur)
CONS
- Mouth pain.
- Tongue pain.
- Throat pain.
- Esophagus pain.
- Stomach pain.
- Bloating (attributed to an overindulgence in sodium).
- Small intestine pain.
- Large intestine [colon] pain.
- Burps that burn.
- Farts that burn.
- Poops that burn.
- Anus that burn(s).
- Looking stupid in front of all your buds.
- Nasty pepperbreath (ladies beware).
- Death (potential)
Now that you know what you are in for, you can make an educated decision on whether or not to eat a cup full of jalapeño peppers. Stay tuned for our next exciting installment: “When is eating eleven Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies a good idea?” Good evening, and good luck.