Archive for January, 2009

Tuesdays With Dorie – Fresh Ginger and Chocolate Gingerbread

Posted in food on January 27, 2009 by uglydudefood

I am going to change the name of my blog to DUMB MAN DOING BAKING.  First of all, because I am (in actuality) a male model, and thus a gorgeous dude.  What I can tell you, though, is that I am the crappiest piece of crap of all time, and that I ruined something as simple as gingerbread.

On a dark, stormy, and fateful night, I settled down to make gingerbread.  I had all the ingredients: the ginger; the chocolate; the flour and spices.  The butter; the coffee; the eggs and molasses.   And then something went terribly wrong.  THIS…is my tale.

The Gingerbread Debacle by Ugly Dude Mike

I FORGOT TO PUT THE BUTTERMILK IN.

The End.

Poo Doodle

What I ended up with was more of a brownie than a cake or a bread.  It’s far too strong (and I like strong), it’s flat and sunken.  In conclusion, poo doodles.

Yours,

Rhubarb Stu

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Inaugural Address

Posted in food on January 21, 2009 by uglydudefood

Here are a few thoughts on the inauguration. Some of them were live-blogged on my Twitter, and some are fresh and new.

Based on George HW Bush’s tie choice, I’m fairly certain that he is secretly The Joker.

When I saw Cheney in the wheelchair, I had my suspicions that he was going to pull a Willy Wonka and start backflipping around Obama’s stage.

I watched the inauguration on an antenna TV (may air broadcast rest in peace). The reception was terrible (multicolored and wiggly) and as I watched Yo Yo Ma perform John Williams’ new piece, I felt as if I were watching a concerto on acid. As I saw Obama squiggle his way onto the stage, I couldn’t help but fill with pride that our nation had elected its first green president.

I watched this in the conference room at work over lunch. There were like twenty people in there. Some of the room clapped at the end of Obama’s oath, and again after the speech. One of our psych doctors clapped after some of his favorite points mid-speech.

People also clapped at the end of the following movies I’ve seen in theaters:

I Am Legend
Valkyrie
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Spy Kids 3D
The Eye

I like Obama, and I am hopeful that his presidency will be a turning point for this country in several ways.

Major League Baseball player Wade Boggs’ commentary on our new president makes me chuckle.

Tuesdays With Dorie – Berry Surprise Cake

Posted in food on January 20, 2009 by uglydudefood

My cake did not rise.  I couldn’t hollow it out, so I guess there’s no surprise.  How do you feel about that, cake?

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Me too.  😦

This was tremendously delicious, though, and I never realized how easy it was to make honest-to-god whipped cream.  This will happen again.

I hope you enjoyed this historic inaugural post.

Rachel and Mike Present: The Togetherness Blog

Posted in food on January 14, 2009 by uglydudefood

When I was in second grade, I had a tough time learning to spell “together.”  Then one day, my classmate Ryan raised his little hand and said, “It’s actually three words.  TO.  GET.  HER.”  And I never forgot it again.

When I was in second grade, there were two Mikes in my class.  Myself, of course, and Mike O.  I hated Mike O.  He was a jerk and another Mike.  Halfway through the year, he moved away, and I announced to the class that I was the only Mike.  Come to think of it, Mike O. probably wasn’t that much of a jerk.

When I was in third grade, I was too shy to raise my hand to ask to go to the bathroom, so I held it in all day.  All year.  I had several bladder infections, and my mom did a lot of laundry.

When I was in third grade, I did a lot of “holdin’ it.”  One day, I had to stand at “the wall” for recess, because I had given the teacher some sassmouth.  While I was there, I had to go to the bathroom, and I went.  One of the teacher’s aides walked by and shook their head:  “Aw, Michael.”  I’m still not sure whether she was disappointed that I got in trouble, or because I peed myself.

When I was in fourth grade, I had a backpack with a big, pink clock on it.  The kid behind me always knew what time it was.

When I was in fourth grade, I moved to a new school.  My teacher’s name was Ms. Butler.  I wonder if her first name was Jeeves.

When I was in fifth grade, my parents got divorced, and my best friend thought I was lying about it.  Oh, I just made myself sad.

When I was in fifth grade, I claimed to write a poem, and my parents thought I had plagiarized it.  They were right, of course.

Tuesdays With Dorie – Savory Corn and Pepper Muffins

Posted in food on January 13, 2009 by uglydudefood

THESE ARE YUMMO.

And the best part is:  nobody I know in the world would even dare to put these things in their mouths.  Twelve delicious muffins just for me.  Corn, jalapeno pepper, red bell pepper, chili powder, and fresh chopped cilantro.  It’s a nice break from my sickeningly sweet Tuesdays With Diabete.

I was pleased with how little “heat” you can actually taste.  While I like hot peppers, it really takes a back seat and merely accents the cornbread.  They’re moist in the center, and a total victory after the mild disappointment that was Pumpkin Muffins.

If I did these again in the future, I would definitely put more corn in there.  Finding mysterious hunks of corn is the best.

I’m writing this on Monday, and hoping I can figure out how to hold this post until Tuesday.  If not…patience, friends.  I am not the most WordPress-savvy individual.

2008 in Movies

Posted in food on January 7, 2009 by uglydudefood

I’ve been tracking all the movies I watch here. This is my best/worst movies of 2008. A few ratings have been changed upon second viewings, and a few I watched before I started that page. So for what it’s worth (nothing), here’s this!

MY LOUSY TOP 5 of 2008!

5. Pineapple Express
4. WALL-E
3. The Dark Knight
2. Role Models
1. Speed Racer

10 STAR

Charlie Bartlett
Cloverfield
The Dark Knight
Pineapple Express
Presto
Role Models
Speed Racer
Step Brothers
WALL-E

9 STAR

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Futurama: The Beast With A Billion Backs
Horton Hears A Who
Iron Man
Semi-Pro

8 STAR

Futurama: Bender’s Game
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
The Incredible Hulk
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa
The Strangers
Valkyrie
Wanted

7 STAR

21
Baby Mama
Be Kind Rewind
Bolt
Burn-E
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Get Smart
Hancock
The Lost Boys: The Tribe
Otis
Quarantine
Run, Fatboy, Run
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Tropic Thunder
Untraceable

6 STAR

Batman: Gotham Knight
The Happening
Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D
Jumper
The Love Guru
The X-Files: I Want To Believe
Zack and Miri

5 STAR

The Eye

4 STAR

10,000 BC
Prom Night

Tuesdays With Dorie – French Pear Tart, or “Tarts and Crafts”

Posted in food on January 6, 2009 by uglydudefood

THINGS ABOUT THE FRENCH PEAR TART

1) I could not find a properly-sized tart pan, so I made four mini-tarts instead.
2) I am the world’s worst fruit-chopper, and so every tart ended up with two massive hunks of crazy pear.
3) Rachel (another kind of tart) proclaims that the pear tart is “the best thing [I’ve] made yet.”

Pictures forthcoming eventually, but not sure if it’ll be today.

Since I made last week’s cheesecake-related post, I have accomplished exactly Nothing in unpacking or putting together the apartment. Blame it on the holidays if you want, but I’m going to stick a thumbtack of plain, old laziness in it.

In lieu of finishing our move, last weekend was a movie weekend. We watched Tropic Thunder, The Pianist, Valkyrie, Wagons East, Timecop, Bolt in 3D, The Incredible Hulk, and The Signal. With possible exception of Wagons East, which was just okay, the rest were pretty great. I especially recommend Timecop, especially if you are in the mood to see people get TIMECOPPED, or maybe just some neat splits of the non-banana variety. Click on the “Ugly Movies” link at right for slightly more detailed reviews, or do something else with your time! It’s a beautiful day! Etc!