Listen up and listen good. At the grocery store, I use the self-checkout line for two reasons.

1) I would like to get out of there quickly.
2) I would like to avoid human contact.

And now you want to write a check. A CHECK. IN THE ANTISOCIAL SELF-SCAN LINE,

Because you had to write a check, I did not get out of there quickly. Because I murdered you, I did not avoid human contact. Thank you for ruining my evening.

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3 Responses to “”

  1. A-freaking-men. No checks allowed in self-checkout. Can we get that prop on the ballot?
    /Clara

  2. Am I the only one who thinks “poke my pecans” sounded oddly sexual?

  3. I stopped using the self-checkouts because the machine always told me to show my credit to the bored teenager standing near the machines. I mean, isn’t that what a cashier is for? How is this different?

    I always bag my own stuff anyway, even in the *shudder* people-lines, because I don’t want some dumbfuck kid putting the watermelon on the eggs and single-bagging it in plastic.

    Self-checkout my ass.

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