Archive for June, 2007

St. Thomas Roasters

Posted in food with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 28, 2007 by uglydudefood

WHAT?

I was going to go mini-golfing tonight, but apparently there was a torrential downpour. Instead, my friends and I went to a local coffeeshop and had delicious beverages. The java joint was called St. Thomas Roasters (Linglestown, PA).

My friend Theresa ordered the strawberry smoothie with whipped cream, and she said that it was “really good,” and that it “didn’t disappear right away.” There is your “review” part of this review.

I ordered a large coffee–my usual–with the intention of having decaf–my usual. However, one golden name beckoned to me from its shiny urn–“Snickerdoodle.”

Snickerdoodle-flavored coffee. Like the damn cookie.

Of course I had to have it. Screw the fact that I literally haven’t had any caffiene in about a year and a half. I had to have cookiecoffee and I had to have it then and there.

And you know what? It was okay. It tasted like somebody sprinkled a spoonful of cinnamon into their coffeepot, although I’m sure there was some insidious something inside of that beverage. It leads me to wonder what they put into the coffee to make it so scrumptious. Did I inadvertantly drink five thousand calories? Am I going to balloon back up to 300 pounds overnight? In bikini season?

So apparently caffiene has an effect on me now. It is currently almost four in the morning and I am wide awake, shirtless, and typing a blog on the American Online Internet Web.

The Jalapeño Menace: You’ve Got to Weigh It Out

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on June 23, 2007 by uglydudefood

Ladies and gentleladies, I present to you the Pros and Cons of eating an entire cup of Jalapeño Peppers.

PROS

  1. You will look cool to that one guy who said, “It would be really cool to eat a cup of jalapeño peppers.”* (*This may not actually occur)

CONS

  1. Mouth pain.
  2. Tongue pain.
  3. Throat pain.
  4. Esophagus pain.
  5. Stomach pain.
  6. Bloating (attributed to an overindulgence in sodium).
  7. Small intestine pain.
  8. Large intestine [colon] pain.
  9. Burps that burn.
  10. Farts that burn.
  11. Poops that burn.
  12. Anus that burn(s).
  13. Looking stupid in front of all your buds.
  14. Nasty pepperbreath (ladies beware).
  15. Death (potential)

Now that you know what you are in for, you can make an educated decision on whether or not to eat a cup full of jalapeño peppers. Stay tuned for our next exciting installment: “When is eating eleven Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies a good idea?” Good evening, and good luck.

The Jalapeño Menace: You've Got to Weigh It Out

Posted in Uncategorized on June 23, 2007 by uglydudefood

Ladies and gentleladies, I present to you the Pros and Cons of eating an entire cup of Jalapeño Peppers.

PROS

  1. You will look cool to that one guy who said, “It would be really cool to eat a cup of jalapeño peppers.”* (*This may not actually occur)

CONS

  1. Mouth pain.
  2. Tongue pain.
  3. Throat pain.
  4. Esophagus pain.
  5. Stomach pain.
  6. Bloating (attributed to an overindulgence in sodium).
  7. Small intestine pain.
  8. Large intestine [colon] pain.
  9. Burps that burn.
  10. Farts that burn.
  11. Poops that burn.
  12. Anus that burn(s).
  13. Looking stupid in front of all your buds.
  14. Nasty pepperbreath (ladies beware).
  15. Death (potential)

Now that you know what you are in for, you can make an educated decision on whether or not to eat a cup full of jalapeño peppers. Stay tuned for our next exciting installment: “When is eating eleven Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies a good idea?” Good evening, and good luck.

What Makes a Peep a Peep?

Posted in food with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 9, 2007 by uglydudefood

Travelogue: Florida, 1997

Posted in food with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 1, 2007 by uglydudefood

We took a crazy and fun family road trip to Florida in 1997. My sister Amy/”Melvin” was keeping a running log that actually stopped before we hit Disney, but all is forgiven because she was ten years old and apparently retarded. Anyway, here is an illustrated Travelogue through the eyes of the coolest ten-year-old girl I knew.


87/2/97

We left for Florida! Things went off to a rocky start. Mike asked Dan to get a comb for him when mommy asked him them to get their combs. Mom said Mike was a “Lazy fat Ass”. Mike jumped up and said I’m not going and left. We got him back in the car and we stopped for gas. Now it’s off to drop off our mail and off we go. Mom wants to get to South Carolina today. We’re making bet’s on which day the door handle will break. Amy day we get to Disney 9th. Dan takes the 10th Mike says tomorrow (3rd). Mom say’s 14th. Dad says it just won’t. We’re playing the lisence plate game the hole time. 9:22am we’re in Maryland.

We are in Virginia 11:02am. We ate lunch at the Virginia Welcome center. Now to Mad libs. (We already played tribond Mike won). continued

We reached North Carolina 3:46pm.

We played Yatzee

We arrived in South of the border (South Carolina 6:52 pm

I got a south of the border coin and Keychain. We stopped at day’s Inn. It would be about 55 dollars. We decided to look on. We might go back. We checked out the prices at the Comfort Inn. It’s full. We decided to check travelers inn. It’s way to expenseve. We’re going back to the day’s Inn. We went swimming and took a dip in the hot tub. We went to Burger King. We traveled 564.1 yesturday today.

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87/3/97

We woke up but the boys wouldn’t get up they wasted like ten minutes. We went and got a continental breakfast free. Now we’re at a Pilot travel center for gas. We’re in Georgia 11:42am. Dan is a Bad driver. He almost killed us twice. No driving for him. We’re in Florida 2:15. We went to Quincys Mom said it was dirty. (It was). Dad said “Florida’s a long ass state”. Dan says “It is a penis”. We went swimming and then went to McDonalds for a snack. We’re staying at is stinky Mirage (Best Western). Today we drive 603.2 miles. Oh yeah! I got a yak at Mc D. It’s name is yacity.


8/4/97

We took showers and went to Ihop for breakfast. When we left mom and dad kepy driving the car back and forth in the car cause mom couldn’t read the map right. We went to the Philly’s Spring Training feild. We were just in the gulf Of Mexico. It was fun. We jumped in to wave and colleted shells. Mom and Dad didn’t come in swim with us. (they walked into there knees). We went to the Yankee’s spring training place next. We weren’t supposed to park but dad did. Mom just wanted to leave. We stopped at a Shoney’s for supper. We drove on a little and stopped at a Red Roof Inn. Dan, Mike, and I went swimming While mom and dad went to wash the car. When they got back they swimming also. There was a spa but it was to hot. Plus there were guys drinking beer. We all (kids) took showers, and went to bed.

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8/5/97

We all got up. When I was the brushing my teeth, and I saw a lizard. We left and stopped at a gas station with gas. We stopped ata Burger King for Break. Then we headed to the EverGlades. When we got there we went to a gater park. Then to a hike, and on a boat ride. On the hike we saw little crabs that looked like spiders. On the boat ride we saw racoons and alligators. We got to hold a baby alligator mom and dad choose not to. After that we had the 1 hr. boat ride we went to the national park for a two hr. tram ride. We saw a white herring and a blue one, We saw volchers, we saw a bird with a snake in it’s mouth. We saw deer, (which are smaller then P.A.’s and a buck fawn), alligators. and a neat turtle all black!! The tour guide sort of sounded like Cristian in my oppinion. (Cristian was a A.D. at camp!) After that was over we went to a Wendy’s where we decided to go all the ways to the Key West. (We crossed 49 bridges to go there. Once hear it took us like an hour to find a hotel. We ended up at a Howarad Jhonson’s. It’s a Motel but across the street it was a resturant. We walked to the resturant we had dessert. it was the only thing we had time for. (Mike didn’t have any he said non sounded good) We walked across the street to a K’s market. We got drinks and candy bar’s. Then we went back to H. J.

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8/6/97

We left H.J.’s and dropped the car van off at a parking lot. We got tickets to ride a tram around Key West. Werode by alot of interesting places. We got off to go to the Hemmingway House. There were alot of cats. 52 to be exact. (Hemmingway was a writter). We got back on. Then we got off at the Southernmost point. (90 miles to Cuba. Then we finished the tram ride. When we got back we went to Sloppy Joe’s to have lunch Then we looked around in shop. Now we’re on are way to Miami but. We stopped at a Dairy Queen. Daddy’s kidney hurts. We are staying at a days in. I hope it’s nothing real serious. He had a kidney stone.

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UNDETERMINED DATE

Sorry i stopped writing i will put certain things i remember–


The end.